In what ways could the grief process being examined through the lens of attachment theory be particularly useful?

Question

Does the study of human attachment theory drives one’s understanding of how emotions work shed light on managing grief?

Answer 1

I wrote my first novel, "A Broken Hallelujah" to deal with my own grief and to explore how many types of grief affect our choices and life's trajectory. As my brother just passed last week, I am using that as a guide on how to move through it.

Comments

I am truly sad for your loss, keep him close in your heart.

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How and why did you loose your brother? I am so sorry.

Answer 2

I have lost both parents. My dad suddenly of an aneurysm 22 years ago. My mother 2 years ago to an adverse reaction to an RX—so a few months, but nothing like cancer or dementia where there’s extended planning/preparation time like with her siblings. For me, the sudden was worse. But there could be a few other factors like I was only 33, I am a daddy’s girl, and he was my first parent to go. Thank you for this episode!

Answer 3

I loved this episode. I loved your guest. So inspiring! Such an important subject to discuss.

Answer 4

Andrew! Thanks for asking exactly the question I wanted to ask again and again… I lost my husband suddenly a year ago, and still can’t understand how I’m supposed to mange this hard time of grief (my own and my teenaged kids grief) without him by my side.

Answer 5

One of the best episodes - I enjoyed the speaker a lot

Answer 6

I cried through this entire episode.

Answer 7

I am learning how to live with the loss of my beautiful Frida, my soul-dog, my best friend ever. When I spontaneously start looking for her and then realize she is not here, I find her inside my heart.

Comments

I totally understand, I feel the same with my loss of my pets, being parrots, especially those that became ill and even with veterinarian intervention I couldn't save them... accept keep them cuddled with me until the end. Most people understand the grief of a dog or cat, but don't understand how precious birds are as well. I wish you the best in healing.

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Same. My brain still expects to see the dog chillin' in his crate when I come down the stairs every morning. I'll never forget how soft his ears were, and I'll always be looking for the light on his collar in the darkness when I sit on the back porch at night.

Answer 8

guys I'm literally crying rn... was about to end it all last month after losing everything (job, relationship, savings). Found a book Manifest and Receive by Eva Hartley the same day through a big podcast. The quantum field chapter hit me so hard I couldn't sleep. Started applying the frequency techniques and I'm not even joking - within 9 days my ex reached out, got offered my dream job (150k+), and my anxiety completely disappeared. I never share personal stuff but I'd feel guilty keeping this secret when so many are struggling. The way Selene explains manifestation through quantum physics is EVERYTHING. If you're reading this, it's a sign from the universe. Trust me, understanding the science will change your entire reality. I'm living proof ✨

Answer 9

No one tells you how to deal with the loss of your best friends as you get older. Person after person…

I broke up with a guy who has Alzheimer’s. I felt like a traitor. Our whole relationship was nothing but me becoming more and more his nurse not more of his lover… he kept changing so I basically kept losing him… our relationship was too short to survive… so painful

Answer 10

My dad died 10 months ago. It’s been insane. We held a celebration of life for him and that party went late into the night, the way my dad would’ve preferred it I think. We must bolster our faith systems to seek positivity within grief.

Answer 11

I love Mary Francis' work with grief and bring this work into our grief coach certification training because it is important to integrate the science of bereavement with grief support. I am thrilled you have brought her into your studio to discuss this very important information. Thank you for this!

Answer 12

Every time I think, "that was, hands down, the best Huberman podcast yet!" you manage to find another amazing guest with such profound and insightful information ❤ Thank you so much for sharing Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor's wisdom and compassion with us.

Comments

Thank you!

Answer 13

My father passed away last year, and 3 days ago I lost my dog, who meant the world to me. Thank you Dr. Huberman, for everything that you do.

Answer 14

I am reading this for the second time today. Grief and despair - the path towards understanding the nature of reality. I'm on month 6.

One day at a time

Answer 15

I was getting weekly massages after my father passed. I needed touch but my heart was so broken, I didn’t want hugs—I just didn’t have the right people around me to get a pure agape love hug. The massage helped me transmute the pain from my grief into a loving remembrance. By healing my body, I was healing my broken heart.

Answer 16

My wife is about to be tested for Huntington’s. We’ve been stuck in a space of potential grief for years. It’s been a journey of learning to accept the impermanence of life - nobody is guaranteed tomorrow, but it’s hard to embrace that idea.

Comments

Thank You for caring for her and loving her as you are doing. Be grateful she is still alive. I can’t speak for what to do after a loved one passes. I listen to these scientists who haven’t a clue about real grief, or know how to handle the horrors of tumors and convulsions, but write books and talk abundantly about navigating their wonder filled lives.

Answer 17

Such a powerful and necessary conversation. Dr. O’Connor’s work really illuminates how grief isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological, biological, existential. The back-and-forth between protest and despair makes so much sense when you realize the brain is trying to update its reality while still holding onto a bond that no longer has a physical anchor.

Answer 18

This is good. My husband died 11 years ago. We hide this normal process away which does not help! The Irish Wakes are sorely missed.
But I have a friend (bereaved) who doesn't want to learn change her state. A type of addiction I'd say.

Answer 19

Just recently lost my dad who had a strong fun personality. Sometimes I am in pain and crying because I miss him, but other times like today I feel his absence but not the pain of his loss, however, I feel very lonely and bored without him despite being with others and busy

Comments

Absence.... It is easy to edit your comment, if you would like to... And I am very sorry for your loss.  My Dad is still alive and "well" at 89 y.o., but he has lost his previously fun and funny personality.  I am grieving.

Answer 20

This has ripped at my heart in a huge and beautiful way.❤Thank you!