I was used to do what i like and effortlessly and eventually it all dropped recently i started to study how to overcome this limitation .thank you and youtube community to bring new perspectives. I was also used to get motivation from outside for the past few years but that didnt satisfied me, and as i switched to internal motivation i got frozen, unable to do anything. suspect its tied with post adolescence where i didnt learn to take risks and appreciate reward, seeking for outside confirmation. All this is taking me already 3 years to really break into pieces and rebuilt again, but i see the light at the end of a tunnel. Not to mention my first stpe was to tak phis activity classes.